September Self-Care Guilt: Why Mums Can't Enjoy Getting Their Time Back

You've been holding on all summer for the first day of school. You've enjoyed the holidays - the days out, the play dates, the slower mornings - but you've also been quietly counting down to September. Finally, that day arrives. The house falls silent. Your calendar still has commitments, but the routine and predictability of your week feels like a breath of fresh air.

So why, instead of relief, do you feel... lost?

The Relief-Guilt Cycle That No One Talks About

For a brief moment, as their bags packed with new stationery disappear out the door and their new school shoes fit perfectly, you feel it - relief. They're safe on the bus, settled into their new classroom, and you can finally breathe.

Then the guilt hits like a wave.

What kind of mum feels relieved when her children leave? Why couldn't I cope with the summer holidays like everyone else seems to? Am I awful for wanting time away from the people I love most?

You feel like you're failing at the juggling act - career, motherhood, trying to become a better person - while everyone else seems to glide through it effortlessly. Maybe your partner expects you to handle the emotional labour naturally. Maybe your friends appear to be those perfect housewives who never seem frazzled or resentful.

You expected yourself to spring into action the moment you had space. Instead, all you want to shut down, drink a cup of Tea while it’s hot, doom scroll, or just rest on the sofa - which feels like wasting this valuable time you've been craving.

When Your Needs Became Invisible

Here's what's really happening: you've spent so long putting your needs at the bottom of an endless list that you can barely see them anymore. Guilt has become your automatic response, bumping those needs down further every time they dare to surface.

You've fallen into the habit of only acknowledging what you need when everyone else is happy first - and here's the truth bomb - that never actually happens. There's always something else that comes up, another crisis to manage, another person who needs you more urgently.

It happens in the tiny decisions.

"I'll just wait until next week."

"I don't mind, I'd rather do what you want to do."

These small compromises feel insignificant in the moment, but they accumulate like compound interest over decades.

The goal isn't to become selfish - you're so far from that it's almost laughable. The goal is "me too," not "me first." To tip the scales toward balance, where you exist in the equation alongside everyone else.

The Personal Development Trap

You've been telling yourself, "I'll focus on me when September comes." Maybe it was starting therapy, meditation classes, that art course you bookmarked, or just trying to figure out what you actually want from life.

Now September's here, and the self-help options feel overwhelming. Another online course to add to your mental load? A sterile therapy room that feels like one more appointment to manage in your already busy schedule?

What you're craving isn't another task on your to-do list.

It's something that feels alive, authentic, connected.

You want to remember who you were before you became everyone's solution.

There's a pull toward something more grounded - both literally and metaphorically. Your intuition is whispering that healing happens differently than you've been taught.

Amy - Psychotherapist and Counsellor in the Woods - one of the many beautiful locations for Walk and Talk therapy

Why "Good Girls" Struggle with Personal Development

The messages that taught us to be polite, modest, and quiet are still running the show.

We worry that focusing on our challenges makes us attention-seeking. We fear making a fuss because "others have it worse."

We think we should just be grateful for what we have, so we push away any feelings of discontent - until they build up as resentment and anger. And as women, we're not "allowed" to express those feelings either.

All of these internal dilemmas are exhausting, lonely, and scary. So many of us just don't bother.

We try to get by, keep quiet, and manage everyone else's emotions while suppressing our own.

But here's what I've learned: we need encouragement to be brave and step out of our comfort zone. Whether that's speaking up, being seen, or following our own choices for once. You deserve to be happier, feel content, and grow in life the way you desire.

Why Traditional Therapy Can Feel Like Another Burden

The thought of sitting in a clinical room talking about your feelings might feel as exhausting as everything else you've been managing. Formal offices with waiting rooms can create a power dynamic where the therapist has all the expertise and you're supposed to have all the problems.

But what if therapy didn't feel like another obligation? What if it felt like the kind of meaningful conversation you'd have on a walk with a trusted friend who truly understands?

A Different Way to Reconnect with Yourself

Walk and talk therapy meets you as a fellow human, experiencing the world alongside you. There's something powerful about being among nature when you're trying to gain perspective on your life and patterns. The scientific benefits of being outdoors - reduced stress levels, improved mood - aren't just nice-to-haves; they're part of the healing process.

Movement helps your mind and body communicate in ways that sitting still sometimes can't. When we're walking, emotions can move through us more naturally. We process differently when we're not trapped in a chair, staring at four walls.

Being in a different environment to your daily routine helps you view yourself and your patterns with fresh clarity. It's casual enough to feel non-threatening, but connected enough to create real change.

Amongst the trees you can find yourself again…

You've Already Started

If you're reading this and recognising yourself in these words, you've already taken the most important step. You're considering that things could be different. You're brave enough to acknowledge that you need support.

That's not something to minimise - it's something to celebrate. You're already making changes just by being here, exploring possibilities, refusing to accept that overwhelm and resentment are just part of being a woman and mother.

I understand this journey because I've walked it myself - and sometimes I find myself back on familiar parts of the path. You don't need to figure this out alone. You deserve someone in your corner, advocating for your needs until you're strong enough to be your own biggest cheerleader.

You have permission to want more than just getting by. You have permission to use your September freedom not just for everyone else's benefit, but for reconnecting with who you are and who you want to become.

Your intuition brought you here. Trust it enough to take the next step.

Ready to reclaim your September freedom? I offer a free 30-minute consultation call where we can explore how walk and talk therapy might help you reconnect with yourself. You can book directly through my website, contact me via the contact form, or reach out by email or DM.

Your voice is waiting to be rediscovered.